Current

I will be a conversional  English assistant, for the mmm, I forgot the name of the school. This will be interesting since this is out of my own contort zone since I am afraid of talking in front of people. I have taught science and spanish,,one on one only, but not an entire class. Now, I am terrified, I am just afraid of boring my class. I never thought I would be teaching in Brazil. I will try to use my acting skills. I will say, Zoila you are, Jennifer now, she is a teacher so act like a teacher. I will be fine I think.  It’s interesting to be in this position because I have to plan and organize a class structure for 2 hours. Can I do it? This will be so fun. I am such a good girl, that I will be helping a professor as a conversional partner in English but the informal way not academic. I think this one is harder. How do I teach  to a professor who knows the grammar, the informal way. Will see how this works. I am in the position of what I just got myself into. I am doing this for fun, I will get help with Portuguese. This is a good trade. This is only for one day a week. I can do this. Woot Woot zoila.

I must say, I will enjoy each minute of my life.

CLass

One of my favorite class, POLS VII. In this class, I have to talk and give presentation everyweek. I just love it because I speak English, Spanish and Portuguese. When is my turn to talk, I feel embarrass but after 1 minute I feel comfortable and talk and talk.  I think I talk more in this class than I usually talk in my regular class in Beloit. I was told I have the occidental view, the western view. I think that’s an interesting point. After presenting, one student approached me saying, where are you from? Since, you at first were speaking in Portunol so I thought you were latina and then you spoke English, and now I am wondering where are you from?

I said, “ I am   originally  from Ecuador but I study in the U.S.” She said, why were you speaking in English to the professor. And I told her, “I do not know some terms in Spanish, only in English.” After I said that, she seemed confuse.

But this in general is a great experience, because I am using the three languages.  When, I talk in English with some people, I feel so different. I think I am not speaking.

                One thing, I do not like is, that in my literature class, the professor points to me as the Ecuadorian girl. I was asked about the independence about Ecuador and I was embarrassed for not knowing it.   Now, when I asked her if there is a structure she wants me to write the composition for her and she told me, “ your from the U.S. school, your will be great.” 

thinking

When I was hang out with a Brazilian friend , she told me to not say that something is better than the other. She said, “each thing is valuable for each person.” I was  thinking mmmmm did I say something I was not supposed to. I will be careful next time.  I am learning, what may or may not offend others.

THe other day, I wanted to buy a red bull and the sellers did not understood me. SO I was sayin, Red bull gives you winds, it gives you energy. Its a bull. That was in portuguese. I don't remmeber how I said it but they understood me then.

SORRY

I am sorry,if I get you lost, my dear reader.  My mind is full of things to express. So welcome to my world I think to much, and love love to write what I think. One more thing, my mind changes everytime.

each day

Each day, has new lesson. I was approach by a perso at the liberty and gave me brochure about god’s word to read. After that, some students gave me a schedule to meet with them to talk about god’s word. I am wondering, I should try it out. There is something in me that tells me no. Not to be rude or something like that but, when I was little, I remember my mother and still does not like to  be involve with the people who go on the streets talking about the word of god. I do not have anything against them. I always stay away from what we call them is evangelic. I used to not like to talk about religion and not asked people about their religion. One day,in high school, my friends were talking about their religion, then I found out one of them was evangelic. I felt shock, and confuse, since I though, that the evangelic were different from catholic and must stay away from each other.  She was and still is a good friend of mines.   I realized that one has to interact with each other and not judge beforehand. Since  I saw as a kid, that there was a distance between the two religions I stayed away as well.  Now I would say, I have a religion but do not practice. Can there be such thing? I think each day, in the countries that are developing, young people just have the label of what religion they follow but do they may not practice. Here in Juiz de Fora, Brazil, the majority that I talk just call themselves catholic but not do not practice it. When, I am near people who are religious, I feel afraid of saying something that may offend them.

project adventure.

I am talking with professor, and going to visit some schools. I am researching. I am waiting for this research to be excelent.
This is the begining. for those who do not know what my project is heres  some part of it.

The main goal of my project is to do an ethnography of economic development in Brazil. One of the perennial goals of Brazil since independence has been the quest for economic development and equality. The administrations of Presidents Fernando Henrique Cardoso (1995-2002) and Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva (2003-2010) have invested more than any other previous president in social programs. Poverty alleviation, health care and education have been top priorities for both presidents, and presumably will be for the administration of the incoming president Dilma Roussef. To address chronic poverty, the government created a couple of programs called "Bolsa Família"(Family Packet) and "Fome Zero" (Zero Hunger). Both programs consist on small cash transfers to low income families who keep their children at school and take them to the doctor on a regular basis for health checks. In addition, the government has increased the number of scholarships exponentially and has doubled the number of students attending university only in the 2000s. The rationale behind these policies is that a healthy and well educated labor force will be more productive and will contribute to economic development.

botanica garthen

I went to the botanica garden was a good experience. I had to experiecne that fruit I forgot was it called. It was delicous. I met other students. From this, I got to hear only english, and it was a weird transition since my mind was now in portuguese. It was weird what I was hearing. I was not sure what I was talking.

I heard great expericence of all the students including, my group.
After that day, I showed my appartment to the ACM staff. I got the chance to eat lunch with must of the exchange students. It was free, jaaa, you know beloits students love that word, free food.

Each day, I am learning more and more.
I meet diferent people.

my birthday

I really do not think celebrating birthdays is a big thing, I do not see the importance of it, since each year is the same for me. Now it change,I arrived at the CRi office, they wish me a happy birthday. He told the people on the Econ faculty as well. I was wow sort off embarrass,
I saw another student, her name is Mari, and she ask me to be in the office at one. I went with them to choose my cake. Students from the biology department wished me a happy birthday,in portuguese. At first I did not what they said, until they told me. Jaaa. I was there, and they were sigingin in portuguese happy birthday. One thing,that was funny was, that mari said, since is a world de capitalismo, they should pay her, 2reais, in order to eat the cake or buy her a beer. That day was great. I had a good time.

Also, again, I celebrated my birthday at the house of fernanda. Her birhtday was the same day as mine. We both got together took pictures. I meet other students,from the engineering. Celebrating my birthdday was great.

class

I am just seeing how I interact with others. I do not know what is it but when I just do not click with someone I do not click with that person but I will show respect.
I am talking to a group I do not know, I can talk, but in respect to my friend, I would not disrespect her friends. I been expose to different groups, and I do not understand how is it that there a millions of different personalities. I do not think one group has to be with one group because they click and are well know.
I think even the different people learn from each other. I am a person that reads, just by the look and by the 5 minutes of judgment how we called it in the voyager class. For me the look says everything, I do not und
I met someone from cabo verde which is somewhere in Africa. He said his country was colonize from the Portuguese , so he knows the Portuguese form Portugal. I am always at the economics place fixing things I need to work on. That’s how I met him. He also knows a lady from Ecuador who is studying here. I got the chance to talk to her, she wants to meet me. I was happy to know, I will met one person from my own country.
After, this I went to RU, which is the restaurant universitario. Here there is a big line for those who want to eat and for those who are buying tickets to eat.

He likes it here, the difference he sees here is that way of dressing, here the ladies dress less cloth. In his country, is not like that. One thing he told me is that here I would be always eating, rice with beans. (funny, the only thing I need is my hot sauce and tortilla)
Yesterday, I had time to go to my communication class. I did not know how my vocal cords works until now. She mention, a person has to learn how to articulate and to talk. Even people who are deaf do not know how their voice sound but try to talk. I was thinking they enforcing themselves so I that I have the privilege to have all my sense I need to work harder like them.
From that class, I met some people who are really nice. One of the ladies, where making fun of another girl who talks different. Here in Brazil there are people who have different accents. I was telling them that the way she talks is sort of easy for me since she pronounces the r in Spanish.
I forgt her name and asked me, if its hard for a latina to be in the U.S. I was telling her that all depends where you at. There are people, and even people who are latinos who treat others unequally. She was saying she is scare of going there to work. I was telling her, don’t be afraid, the only thing you have be afraid is of your won success.
She was telling me, how they have to take a course to enter in the university. She said how the government do not care about the students. They make the exam in a way that is harder for them to get in. Even the student who take that course may not pass. For them the exams has 100 empty sits and there is 300 students who took that course. I told her that’s the same way in Ecuador, since my cousin went to take the exam and did not pass only for 3 points. She was telling me she will invite me to her barbequo party for her birthday.

moi

I got up early to go into my history class. When I found it I saw only one student. I was thinking that I was in the wrong class. I started talking to the lady and she was mentioning she has another friend who went to Spain and speak a very decent Spanish. I get really happy when I find people who speak my modern language. In this class the professor introduce herself since she is knew to the University and it will be her first time teaching. She mention to us, students, ways to be greater and how we can learn more. There was this big discussion between the students. I rather would of like the professor to choice how she wants to great us. In the class, I was asked to work with the lady that speak Spanish and enlgish since it will be better for me, I agree. After, I went with them to walk around, and asked them about what they think of their own country and the president.
They mention, Lula did not help the poor instead was creating more. As their point of view, he was giving help to those who have more kids. The people would do that. They mention, in Brazil is hard to have things of your own, like a car since a car is like having a family. They mention, in Brazil for just small things you have to do a lot of paper work. Its bureaucracy they mention, Brazil is full of that and is getting rich by that. They do not think that new president is doing what she promises. They see her as the reincarnation of Lula, she is just the face as she says but that once who do all is those behind her. I thought of this as a good point. They just did not like LuLa, at all. But at side from that, they mention how in the south side of Brazil, there is a lot of Argentineans since the water, is so clear that you can see your own body even well the water level is close to your neck.
Actually this students are in their last period, they invited to taste some ====. I was well treated; I think I ate too much at this girl’s house. She kept offering food and I did not want to say no. The other person went to her Italian class, and return. The other girl was talking about her mom, how she work as a policy and works on defending her country, and her dad is a doctor. Later, I went with them to meet their friends who already graduated. I was talking to them and I was asking them, what some sign means and some words that I hear but do not know. I was told to not do those sign or say those words. Good to know or else, I maybe I could off got into trouble.
There are just different ways of communicating like signs, gestures and slang words. I am expose to a new life a new way to work things and new way of thinking. I interested way of viewing things. I was not expecting this. I thought I would do what I always do, think of what I came for. Learn the language, gain more confidence, work harder and chao chao. I did not expect of just learning how just thinks are different outside the academic side.

class

I went to my literature class, hispanoAmerican II. I met the professor and talk to her in Spanish. Her name is Prof. Silvana and there was an Italian professor call Silvina. This remind me how, I used to write the name of the wrong professor in my composition since both had the similar name. I do not think I will make the same mistake here. I hope not. While I waited for class to start, a student started talking to me and wanted to know if I know English. Then she started talking in English and was happy she found a person she could practice her English with. Her friend started talking to me in Spanish, and wanted to practice his Spanish with me. I felt somewhat lost because one will talk in English and the other in portunol (Portuguese with Spanish) and French. I was speaking frenspangpor ( French, Spanish, English, and Portuguese). I had class finally, so I felt somewhat liberated. After class, I went to drink coffee with two students from my lit class. Here, one talk more English than Spanish, than the other who spoke more Spanish than English. There were mentioning how is difficult to understand Spanish from some professor, since one is the Spanish from Argentina and then the other professor is from Spain and the other from Nicaragua. I was talking to them in Portuguese and then all the sudden I will talk to them in Spanish. Then we did a trade, they will teach me Portuguese and I will learn from them Portuguese. After this I went to my politics class. Again, I was not told that there was a change in the schedule. As a result, I went into the wrong class which was Antropology V, I met this girl who wanted to me show me around. I get emails from people but I do not know remember there name.
I really do not like when I cannot speak a good Portuguese. I will learn, I have to but I will.

class

I went to find a professor and went to the information place. I kind a got a first priority to go see a person to help me. Actually there was a big line and all of those students were just not happy with what I did but I got network who got me on the first line to get help. When I met with the professor, he told me that yesterday, they went to a different room since that room was taken. I told him I went into the wrong class which was econometrics III, and he said, o you must of feel terrified. I was mmm kind off. It’s what some people do most of the time in the students days. When I met with him I asked me more and more and the homework I have. He kind of love to hear that I was curious. He told me to relax.
After this, I went to the economics liberty and got help from someone there. She was telling me how I can get books from the library and work even better. She was talking a lot and I was sort off thankful to get her help. My class was cancel again since the professor is in a conference. I went to a class of Brazilian folklorico. I sort of did not like how the professor was just talking about races and how he generalize that all Brazilians do not know their culture. I do not like topics when someone makes another race less than the other. I was not interested; he continue talking about race but he himself did not think he mention a lot of assumptions. I am not a big fan of history I try but I do not like some histories. I think the past is the past and may reflect on the present. When I got out, I met a professor from the Argentina. He said, why are you shy of talking in Spanish. I really cannot control when I can speak Spanish or Portuguese. When I start talking in Spanish I then ended up talking in Portuguese. Now I even more confuse what I speak.

first time in class

ext day, I talked to the same lady at the liberty and I used my portunol ( Spanish and Portuguese). She thought I said I word in Portuguese she did not know but then I said that it was in Spanish. She was laughing. People here love Spanish and love it when I talk to them in Spanish but I get confused. Some students tell me they prefer to take Spanish or French than English. I found it interesting because I thought English will be popular language. Then I went to my first class which was literature. Sadly my class was cancel but I met with some students that are taking my course and asked me question and were really helpful. They asked me they love the literature and that literature in Portuguese is so wonderful. To bad I can take it since I have to be more fluent in Portuguese. After that, I went to a different class, the Portuguese class. I met a student from Iran and he is working on his PHD and he was learning Portuguese and knows English. He was talking to me in English and I try to tell him where I am from but I just could not speak in English. It was like I had a switch in my head and it was time for only Portuguese. I had admit I took longer to answer him in English. When this class ended, I went to find my economics class. I was trying to find it but I could not find it. I asked for help and someone took me to a different class which was of law. Then I asked someone else and took me to the right room but my class had change the room at the last our. I was not told that so I went in to the class since I was late. I was listening and the professor just look like my advisor, Dr. Pablo Toral. I was listening to him and he started writing formulas in the board and he was talking about Econometrics III. This course was for people who are in their doctorate. I was kind a lost what he was talking about. I remember him saying that All the student will be using what they have learned from all their classes. I thought if I leave the class, It would be rude so I stayed and the professor asked me a question, and point at me since I was in the front. I just agree with what he has just said and did not answer his question since I forgot to speak in Portuguese. Then I was trying to understand him but it was hard since he was speaking terms I did not know not even in Spanish. I really felt really lost and confuse that all I wanted to do is to get out of there. I started thinking that that’s how all my classes will be and I started to panic. Then when class was over, I asked him if I was in the right class because I did not thought I was in the right class. He answer that I was in the wrong class and send me to another room. I went to the room and the professor said, she teaches administration. I was I think I do not know where this class is. The professor took me to the information room and asked them to help me. A lady told me that she does not think I can take the course, and I was sort of not wanting to hear that. I was so confuse and did not want to go back to the class again. This is the class where I felt lost completely since all the material was advance, I only new one formula which made me somewhat happy. While I was in the class I felt embarrass of talking in Portuguese.

reflecting time

After that, I watch movies about the favelas in India, Mexico and Egypt. It was interesting to see the patterns how the rich of course had the power. The poor had no words but to be insult from the capitalist. I just see that in each event, each question asked, has a memory of the past or makes a person wonder.
In the park I wrote..
Each sound
Each glare
Each move
Each sign
Have a message for us to figure out. We must be careful on how to read the message and not commit the mistake of misunderstanding it.

last day carnaval

Tuesday our last day to enjoy carnival. I got up early and went to the beach with Nubia and Sarah. I walked again in the smooth and pretty sand of Rio. I never took my sight out of the place called favelas. Then, I touch the salty water and trace with my feet on the sand. After that, we enjoy the ice-cream. After that, I met another friend of my roommate named, Camila. She arrived with a dog and was telling how the dog knows a lot to guide here where she needs to go. She was mentioning how well train her dog is. We gather with the crew and went to the Ipanema bloco. There it was a decent amount of people. This last time all of us were tired that we could not dance a lot. I got to see the beach again and enjoy for the last time. We all went to eat , I treated my stomach like never before. I went to explore the city with Sarah. It was not a lot dangerous. Later I went back and contemplate the ( cristo redentor ). I enjoy my time being in Rio, one thing I love more was the beach